


Boy Meets... Squirrel?

by mezzosesu



Category: The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Best viewed with Creator's Style on, Crossover, For the BnHA side of things this falls around Chapter 128: Boy Meets..., Gen, Humor, In-text humor gags, Marvel 616/My Hero Academia crossover, Though you don't need to have that knowledge to enjoy this fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 18:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19256944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mezzosesu/pseuds/mezzosesu
Summary: Doreen's trying really hard not to be late for class, but between strange teenage superheroes and multi-dimensional hijinks, she's probably not going to make it on time.Written for theAlliance Zine





	Boy Meets... Squirrel?

**Author's Note:**

> This work utilizes a work skin for in-text gags, so please make sure you are showing the creator's style when you are reading this work. The gags will be denoted by this symbol: [*], and are functional both on Desktop via hover text and Mobile via clicking on the symbol (please be warned that clicking will scroll the text to the top).
> 
> This fanfiction was for the Alliance Zine and was part of a collaborative effort with this wonderful artist: [ Liz F. Caballero ](https://twitter.com/LizFCaballero?s=17). They haven't posted their piece yet since we just received clearance to post, but when they do I'll be sure to link it because it's really amazing! For now here's a [ preview! ](https://twitter.com/LizFCaballero/status/1113385566073233408?s=20)

New York, the final frontier. These are the adventures of Squirrel Girl and her best squirrel friend; Tippy-Toe. Their mission: to kick bad guys’ butts. To seek out new places to find and store nuts. To boldly go where no squirrel (or girl!) has gone before!

... It’s eerily similar to another certain sci-fi series tagline, but obviously, this was Squirrel Girl’s original slogan for her awesome adventures!

Unfortunately, it seemed that the current gun-toting guy she was facing just didn’t get it-- or really know who she was at all, judging by the way he looked around in a panic for the Avengers. Squirrel Girl (real name: Doreen) turned to Tippy-Toe in exasperation. “Tippy, do you think our advertising is off?”

“It has been a while since we’ve been on a cereal box,” Tippy commented, flicking her tail casually. “Maybe we could look into getting a billboard.”

“Oh, I like that idea! I’ll bring it up to Iron Man; he owes me a favor. For now, let’s teach this bad guy who we are the old-fashioned way.”

After a thorough butt-kicking (which the audience will just have to imagine in excruciating detail), Doreen and Tippy-Toe headed in the direction of the city and a subway. “You mind if we take an aerial shortcut? I have a class that I don’t want to miss.” 

“Sure, I don’t care.”

Doreen ducked into a stray alley. After making sure the coast was clear, she climbed up the side of one of the buildings to the roof. She took off, hopping from rooftop to rooftop with the ease of a nimble squirrel in a dense forest.

Suddenly, loud shrieks rang out from Doreen’s left, and she froze mid-step. After exchanging a quick nod with Tippy-Toe, she turned and ran towards the commotion.

While Doreen had been busy focusing on the subway, a large, circular object had manifested in the air above New York, dark and pulsing with an energy that Doreen usually attributed to bad guys ripping a hole through space to do...well, bad guy things.

As she got closer to the object, she spotted a figure standing on the rooftop close-by. It probably wasn’t the safest spot to be. She opened her mouth to say just as much, but Tippy-Toe tapped her cheek insistently to grab her attention.

“Forget them, Doreen. Someone’s falling!”

“What?!” Doreen shifted her attention to the other side of the roof, where she caught a glimpse of a leg and the bottom of a boot. “Oh dang, oh man!” She dashed over the edge, digging her fingers into the grooves of the concrete to maneuver along the side of the building. When she managed to get close enough, she propelled herself through the air towards the individual. She reached out and grabbed them, utilizing her famed squirrel agility and finesse to land. The crowd cheered as she gingerly put the person down, keeping a hand clutched to their arm so they wouldn’t collapse.

Now that no one was in danger, Doreen checked out the person. His outfit practically screamed ‘Superhero’: large, clunky, thigh-length boots, thick, protective gloves, and a dark green jumpsuit. Superheroes always wore jumpsuits; it was like, the Number One Rule of being a Superhero, after all.

However, this wasn’t any hero she knew, and she had at most two degrees of separation with every superhero in the country. Who was this guy?

When she felt like he could stand on his own, Doreen removed her hand. “Are you alright?”

“Ugh... I’m okay, I think,” The superhero (??) said as he checked himself over for damage. He ran a hand through his curly dark green hair as he leveled his gaze to Doreen. “Where...am I? And who are you?”

“Me? Well, I’m the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, of course!” Doreen flexed her bicep dramatically, and Tippy-Toe mimicked the pose. “Protector of Squirrels, Professional Buttkicker! Never seen you before though...”

She reached into her utility belt and pulled out her deck of _Deadpool's Official Unofficial Guide to Super Heroes_ cards. She leafed through them, comparing each entry with the hero in front of her, before letting out a frustrated groan. She forgot these were useless! 

“So, where are you from?” Doreen asked as she sheathed her cards. “I’ve been all over the states and I’ve never seen you before. Are you an international superhero, maybe?

“Wait, we’re in the States?” He scratched his head with a grimace. “I’m Deku, a Provisional Hero from Japan. I’m not...entirely sure how I got here. The only thing I remember is...”

He cut himself off with a loud gasp. “Oh my god, the villain!”

“The--huh?”

“I-I was here, with a bad guy! We--well, me and my mentor--we saw them running out of a store with a bag full of money and a large device. We were chasing them when suddenly they...they--” Deku pulled at his hair as he paced back and forth. “Pressed something on the device. I ran at them without thinking and grabbed them, then--” He paused in place and looked up in bleak realization. “Oh, no. I lost the villain.”

“Dang, that’s not good,” Doreen said, rubbing a hand against her chin.

“Wait, think that might be the guy from the roof?” Tippy-Toe asked.

“Oh! You’re right, Tippy! That guy! Deku, your bad guy is on the roof!”

Deku’s eyes widened as he glanced from Doreen to the roof and back. “He’s up there?!”

Before Doreen could answer, Deku crouched low to the ground and clenched his fists in concentration. His body hummed with energy, and Doreen watched, fascinated, as it literally lit up his veins, traveling from his toes to his head in a sparkling show of bright hues and sparks. He launched himself through the air towards the nearest building. After a moment of shock, Doreen scrambled after him, using her claws to scale the brick and concrete.

The two of them reached the top of the roof and landed on the edge. Surprisingly, the person was still there, faced away from them and kneeling next to a funky machine. The rift was gone, finally giving Doreen a chance to see the stranger fully. Their appearance was...a little lackluster. She expected some sort of elaborate suit to match the amount of flair they’d brought with them, but instead, the person looked like they literally crawled out of bed and hastily threw jeans and a hoodie on for an eight am class.

Doreen imagined that in all the chaos and hubbub the guy would’ve tried to escape, but whatever, maybe they liked standing on rooftops or something. She wasn’t about to cramp their aesthetic, just the rest of their whole bad guy schtick.

“Loitering on the roof probably isn’t against the law, but apparently we have to send you to jail anyway!” She shouted. 

The person quickly rose to their feet in surprise and, after a quick glance around, took off running away from them.

“Hey, wait!” Deku shouted. He sprinted, closing the gap between them, then leaped into the air. Flipping his body forward, Deku drove his heel down, intending to wallop the person down with a hefty kick before they could get away.

However, before Deku’s heel could collide, the villain disappeared into thin air, leaving him to strike the ground abruptly. The concrete underneath him cracked, kicking up a cloud of dust and debris.

Doreen waved a hand in front of her face as she caught up to Deku, coughing as she tried not to breathe in any debris. She blindly helped Deku out of the small crater he created, and when the dust was finally clear she huffed angrily.

“Wow, teleporting! That’s completely unique and not at all infuriating! Deku, Tippy, let’s spread out and search the perimeter. They couldn’t have gone too far.”

Tippy-Toe scampered off her shoulder to the uneven ground, nose twitching as she went about her search, while Deku watched in a mix of awe and confusion. “Wait, can you actually talk to that squirrel?”

“You mean Tippy, my best pal? Course I can! I mean, I am Squirrel Girl after all. It’s not like I can talk to chipmunks or anything, that’s more Chipmunk Hunk’s thing.”

“Wow, that’s so neat!” Deku rummaged through his utility belt and pulled out a small notebook. After unearthing a pencil from his pocket, he flipped to an empty page and started to write. “I’ve never met a person with squirrel powers before!”

While Deku was preoccupied with his notebook, Doreen took the moment to pull her phone out and text her roommate, Nancy. She let her know that she would be missing class for a super-secret reason (bad guys, of course) and asked to please take notes for her. True to Nancy’s character, she responded quickly, replying with a weary emoji, followed by several thumbs-up ones afterward. What a great roommate. What a great friend.

“Hey, Dor--er, I mean, Squirrel Girl?” Tippy called. “I don’t think this guy really disappeared!” 

Doreen looked up from her phone just in time to see Tippy-Toe scurrying out of the rubble. Pocketing the device, she crouched down to a squat. “What?”

“I can still smell them.”

“Smell?” Doreen raised her nose to the sky and took in a big whiff. The usual scent of New York, pungent with a small hint of falafel, started to flood her senses, but she ignored it to narrow her focus. There was Tippy, the smell of sweaty leather that she recognized as Deku, and...

“Oil and denim! And it’s close! Deku, they’re still here!” Doreen fell into a fighting stance, fist poised in front of her as she scanned the air. Deku mimicked her pose and stood with his back to her, keeping an eye on her blind spots.

“What could their quirk be? If it were just teleportation, we’d be able to see them,” Deku murmured to himself, just loud enough for Doreen to hear. “It couldn’t be invisibility; my hit would’ve still connected...”

“Oh, maybe they can break up their body! Like, reduce it to some sort of gas state or something?” Doreen suggested.

“But if they could turn gaseous, why not leave the roof? Why stay here? Maybe--”

A large, shuddering gasp interrupted Deku before he could continue, and the three of them turned towards the sound. What used to be a hole of debris and property damage in the roof now contained the figure from before, slowly climbing to their feet and wheezing for breath.

“Why- _gasp_ -haven’t you guys left yet?! Do you know how--” They cut themselves off with a hacking cough-- “How hard it is to hold your breath for that long? Huh? I could’ve died!”

“Uh...” Doreen exchanged a glance with Deku. “You could've just...not?”

The figure snorted, setting the machine down and patting the dust off their jeans. “And get hit by that kid? No thanks, I’ve seen what kind of damage he can do on TV. I’d rather live.”

“What did you do to--to us?” Deku asked. “To bring us here?”

“Some dude gave this machine to me, said with my quirk I would be impossible to find. Thought if I had enough cash and this thing, I could go off the grid and get away.” 

“Get away from what?” Doreen asked.

The person sighed heavily and rubbed the back of their head. “Student loans, mostly. I uh, defaulted last month. Got a threatening letter in the mail and I just--I, I panicked, okay? I don’t have that kind of money! What else could I do? Being a villain might not be the most legit job but it sure pays more than retail.”

Doreen nodded solemnly. “I bet. There are other acceptable ways to fix your loan problems though. You could try and get it rehabilitated so you can make more reasonable payments.”

“I... I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Maybe try that out instead of crime and see how it works for you?”

“I think I will, yeah. Thanks, man, I appreciate it! Wow, I gotta get home and try that out, just as soon as I figure out how to get back.” With that, the person turned their attention back to the machine.

Deku looked from Doreen to the figure in confusion, lowering his fists slightly. “Wait, what just happened?”

Doreen shrugged. “Financial Aid advice?” 

“But, you didn’t even have to subdue them? Isn’t it a bad idea to let them roam like that?”

“Possibly! But, well, a lot of the time I find that bad guys like this aren’t really bad, just misunderstood. Sometimes they just need a friend, you know?”

“Oh!” Deku thumped his fist against his palm, eyes wide as he contemplated Doreen’s words. “Compassion!”

Doreen grinned. “That’s it exactly! Even the worst of dudes can be taken down with that; that’s how I beat Galactus.”

“I’m not sure I know who that is, but okay!”

Doreen smiled knowingly. She had an inkling this guy wasn’t from her universe, but that proved it.

Well, there wasn’t too much else she could do here to help besides support Deku, but she was thinking that maybe this was her cue to skedaddle. She gestured to Tippy-toe and took a step in the opposite direction. “Come on, Tip, let’s head out.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Deku asked.

“I’m pretty late for a class, but I think if I book it I might be able to catch the last ten minutes. Also, I’ve got an ice cream and romcom date with the roomie and she’ll be miffed if I miss it for multi-universe shenanigans. Besides, I think you’ve got it all covered here, right Superhero Deku?” Doreen threw him a wink over her shoulder.

“I-I, well, yes! I think I can handle it!” He pumped his fist, determination etched over his face. “Thank you so much for your assistance and your guidance, Squirrel Girl!”

Doreen tapped her fist to his and pulled it away with a whooshing sound. “A pleasure working with ya, Deku. Hit me up whenever you’re in this neck of the woods again, and I’ll introduce you to the other squirrels in New York.”

“Okay!” Deku nodded. “But, how will I find you?”

“Social media?”

“Good point, good point. Take care Squirrel Girl! And you too, Tippy-Toe!”

With one final wave Deku turned away and jogged over to the villain other guy. He squatted down and pointed to the machine before saying something that Doreen couldn’t catch. She watched for a few moments longer before leaving the rooftop with Tippy-Toe.

“He was a nice kid,” Tippy mused from her perch on Doreen’s shoulder. “A bit rough around the edges, but shows some good promise.”

“Yeah, I think so too,” Doreen agreed with a smile on her face. “I have this feeling that he’s gonna end up being a pretty dang good hero!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this superhero mashup! If you’re wondering about the in-text gags, consider checking out the comic: _The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl_ !
> 
> Was it fun? Did you enjoy yourself? Consider letting me know with kudos/a comment below <3


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